a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
