So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
