Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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