good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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