I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
