I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
