oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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