I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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