guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
