I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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