u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
