someone get that fucking seahorse.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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