so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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