Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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