Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
