so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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