Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
