I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
