How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
