careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
40s are totally the cure
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
