Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
