It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
