so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
