I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
