I got chris browned last night
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
