so that wasnt chicken after all
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize