I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
