just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
