If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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