when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
