I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
