they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
