I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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