Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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