just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
