1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
