I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You were trust falling into bushes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
