She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
