I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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