That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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