i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
