last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dicks are not precious.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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