the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
