I'd wear matching sweaters with you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
