is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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