tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
