some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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