You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
