high people should be assigned attendants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
