u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
