What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize