im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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