Apparently you make a good broom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
