i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My ass is underappreciated
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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