I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
