He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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