Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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