did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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