sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
