You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
