Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
