I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize